not usually. :/ i wish i did, but i hate carrying the extra weight with me and i don’t have a water belt or anything to use. sometimes i bring a water bottle with me and put it like in the barn so i can have some before i get all the way back to the house.

ran for the first time tonight in forever
it was really fucking cold
i ran like shit, i’m so out of shape
i’m going to have to start exercising every day again though
i’m too big
yay for the fucking freezing, dark nights ahead
at least it’s a start 

tried to run today, but i just wasn’t feeling it. i’m not sure if it’s because i’m restricting again and didn’t have the energy or what, but it sucked. i’m considering running a 5k this saturday, but i don’t want to embarrass myself lmfao. it’s a super laid back one and they don’t care if you walk or run it, but idk i’m insecure. i guess i might as well try though, even if i walk more of it than i run, it’d be good to get used to the distance so i have a better idea of what kind of training i need to be doing.
blah hopefully tomorrow i’ll have a better run. 

went for a long run today, the distance was a little farther and I ran a lot more of it than I normally do, not as much walking breaks. I realized that I’ve fallen into the habit of taking a walking break because that’s what I’ve been doing, not because I actually need it. I’m pushing myself harder now than I was, and my body is finally responding. I’ve got so much more endurance than I thought I did. I’m still nowhere near where I want to be, but I’m getting closer every day.
After I ran I took a break for awhile and trained my dog, then did box jumps and then did like 4 hill repeats. I’m tired, but I feel pretty good… excited about tomorrow’s work out :) 

went for a really long walk/run today. I didn’t stress out about trying to run the whole thing, or how fast I was, or how far I went, or how many calories I burned. I just got moving and enjoyed the beautiful autumn weather and put one foot in front of the other. I don’t feel like I exercised that much, and I don’t feel very fit or thin, not much of a runner’s high.
but that’s okay. I haven’t really run in over month, due to my wisdom teeth surgery, various sickness and injuries, adjusting to school, etc., so I’m just glad I actually got out there and did it. I’m proud of myself for trying.
and I’m proud of myself for training, because I am going to beast a 5k before new years. I don’t know which one, I don’t know when, and I don’t know what my time will be. but god damn it, I am going to run a 5k and I am going to cross that finish line. 

new shoes, they’re the brooks purecadence.
they’re so comfortable, i can’t wait to run in them :D

but it’s 1:30am and my mouth still isn’t healed up from my wisdom teeth
i need to get rid of all this negative energy though, or it’s not going to be pretty 
ugh fuck maybe i’ll run anyway 

i ran with my basicallysister who’s a cop and i was like “ummmm i can’t run as fast as you can” and she was like “okay that’s fine whatever” so i was kind of self-conscious starting out, but i kept pace well and i pushed myself so much harder than i normally would’ve and i did it and it just felt amazing. I’m not sure how far we ran, over a mile. it wasn’t that far, but we literally ran the entire way, which is something i haven’t done. the runner’s high was like

i love running with other people, i can push myself so much farther and it just feels so good. it’s also kind of weird though, running is something really personal to me and to share it with someone else is really odd to me. when we got back and i was fixing my ice bath i overheard her talking to madre and she said that i’m a good runner, just need more endurance. then she said i should definitely run track and/or cross country because i can definitely do it, i just need some more time and training.
while dipping myself into lovely icy water that froze my body all over (but i’m not sore woop! ;) i was just like
 

my love for running = rekindled
my excitement about running every day this week = stupidly high
my goal to run a 5k in September: re-established
my night = made